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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
9:28 am
Yesterday was World Diabetes Day, and the JDRF wants to pretend that only children have Type One Diabetes and that they magically disappear when they turn 18. Because people like me who were diagnosed with "juvenile" diabetes at age 22 don't exist.

http://community.livejournal.com/diabetes/1539584.html



Today is my baby brother's birthday. He's 18, a senior in high school, ridiculously smart, popular,jockish, and the polar opposite of my teen years. Even though when you get down to the nitty gritty we are very similar. I'm so freaking proud of him.

(Um, Yeah, We need to talk about your TPS reports)

Friday, October 16th, 2009
7:23 pm

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Sunday, October 4th, 2009
6:57 pm - I'm not 15 anymore, yet here goes Mr. Brian Warner, breakin it down for me.
I had a dream
This one I feel the need to mention
I was happy for a while and I stopped being scared
And ashamed to say what's on my mind
But you thought I'd change after a while
And said you better treat me different or else...
Or else seems like a stupid fucking
thing to say to someone like me
Someone like me WOW WOW WOW
Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo WOW
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
I'm worse than what you think you'd catch from me
Complicateds understated did you
stop and take a look at who you
fell in love with?
At who you fell in love with?
Does it matter how many times I say it?
It never gets old that's why I have to say WOW WOW WOW
Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
It doesn't matter if you're going
to come or just going
I never wanted you to come here anyway
there's a word that's like you
because it can be a noun a verb a
exclamation or the thing I say
When something is unbelievable
when I'm not able to believe how
unbelievably unbelievable
That you believe you could not be-lievable
that's when I have to say WOW WOW WOW
Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo Wo WOW
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
don't be surprised I can look you in the eye
it's hard to take you serious
when you take me Inside
It doesn't matter how many times I say it
It never gets old
that's why I have to say WOW

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Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
11:00 pm
today me and Nikita and Gina were attacked by a 130lb Lab while trying to trim his nails!
also, the last few weeks we have always been shorthanded somehow, and it has been stressful...bleh.

But, woot woot! just got 100% on my last two Penn Foster Medical Math tests. YEAAAAHHH, bitches! I better, since tomorrow I have been at Animal Medical Center for 7 years. how time does fly! I hope to have my RVT degree by my 10 year anniversary there, lol

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Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
5:45 pm
OMFG. Just called The Vet Tech Institute, to ask some questions about their program, since I am frustrated with my online program. $40,000 for an 18 month degree there, and they only offer day time classes. So I could quit my job and go even more into debt, so that I can do exactly what I do for a living already, or I can continue to pay Penn Foster a more reasonable rate but be very annoyed with the program... UGH

(Um, Yeah, We need to talk about your TPS reports)

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009
10:05 am - 28 fucking years old today
Many years ago today something grew
Inside of your mother...
That thing was you

YOU

YOU YOU YOU YOU

Did she scream did she cry
Only those that are born are the ones that
Get to die

One more year closer to dying
Rotting organs ripping grinding
Biological discordance
Birthday equals self abhorrence

Years keep passing aging always
Mutate into vapid slugs
Doctor gives a new perscription
Bullet in a fucking gun

One more year closer to dying
Plastic surgeons fuel the lying
You forget why you came in here
Your mind rots with every New Year

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

Now you're old and full of hatred
Take a pill to masturbatred
Children point to you and scream
Because they will become that thing

One more year of further suffering
There's no point of fucking bluffing
Open up your DETHDAY present
It's a box of fucking nothing

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
Your Gonna DIE

DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY
DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

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Sunday, August 9th, 2009
8:40 pm - picture dump...










I'm a fattie-pants, in a frustrating marriage, that is trying to quit smoking and save said marriage.
/emo rantage for the day.

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Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
9:23 pm - cut and dyed my hurrrr. girlyness




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Friday, July 17th, 2009
1:01 pm - Todays "Butch and I feel 15 and fuckauthority so let's make a CD" playlist
All Marilyn Manson, lol

Wow-The High End of Low
Rock&Roll Nigger(Patty Smith cover)-Smells Like Children
Apple of Sodom-Lost Highway Sountrack
The Speed of Pain-Mechanical Animals
Down in the Park(Gary Numan cover)-Lunchbox
Lamb of God-Holywood
Arma-Goddamn-Muthafucking-Gedden-The High End of Low
Use Your Fist and Not Your Mouth-Golden Age of Grotesque
We're From America-The High End of Low
White Trash Remix-Smells Like Children
I Put a Spell On You-Lost Highway Soundtrack
Four Rusted Horses-The High End of Low
Coma Black-Holywood
Get Your Gunn-Portrait of an American Family
The Death Song-Golden Age of Grotesque
(S)aint-Golden Age of Grotesque
Target Audience-Holywood

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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
12:10 am - fuck sentence structure.
ripped TWO infusion sets out today.
slammed my foot in my car door.
very cranky at work today, especially after I ripped my set out and had no insulin
scraped all the bumper stickers off my car and spoke with my neighbor, who is my mail lady, about a kitten she found. This woman knows WAY too much about me and the neighbors,lol
I'm selling my Lumina so that I can buy a Camry from a co-worker.
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/cto/1265321087.html
The Camry has a lot more miles on it, but less miles on the newer engine, and a CD player
Now I'm watching all of season 1 of Crash from Showtime. yay Netflix!

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Sunday, July 5th, 2009
8:39 pm - last day of vacation...sigh
Random picture time!

My new Hens N Chicks. My groomer Julie gave me some for Christmas, but I killed them transplanting them outside. Succulents don't need much water, apparently. I think I'll keep these inside.

Now we have:
The wall beside my computer desk. Roland the Gunslinger from the comic book of The Dark Tower, a tee shirt hell shirt image that I had to gank "Mary was only a virgin if you don't count anal"
and a sign that my old friend Kris made years ago that I took from her house during a birthday party for her and her friends and Butch. It says: "When I was your age, we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday OR GOD KILLED US!" So irreverent, lol. I wonder what ever happened to her. Got in touch with her sister, but haven't talked to her in years, since she was suspected of stealing money from work. Never knew if it was her, but yeah, it pointed that way...sigh.


Random bad pic of me. My boobs should never be braless unless naked. Stupid droopage...
But the middle finger is classic Amanda pic pose, and it what I think about going back to work Monday. HAH!



And now for something completely different.
Was reading [info]diabetes and someone posted about 3 people with type one diabetes dying recently, and being scared by that and other people talking about using that as a scare tactic to get your shit together, so to speak.
[info]lost_cosmos posts this:

"scare tactics + diabetes = does not work.
using this kind of bullshit to make one worry about their diabetes care regardless of type of diabetes you have is just adding more stress to having a life altering disease that is MORE dangerous [the stressing over everything and death/complications] than being accepting that you have diabetes and need to take precautions to what the disease is.
if you know how to properly take care of yourself, count carbs properly and medicate for them properly with medical follow-up as prescribed/needed then these scare tactics are just stressing you OUT for no reason. diabetes is a livable disease and a money maker. this is why there will be no cure any time soon for it because its lucrative for the medical community.
the complications are tiny ultimately based on person to person but the lists they give are huge because they could possibly happen if IF if and take years of IF if if.
again the stress of worrying about this that and the other thing rather than just doing what is in your control rather than what other people are doing will do you MORE harm than anything."


Of course big pharma does not want there to be a cure for diabetes. We spend a ridiculous amount of money with supplies and medications, especially people on the pump.



Also, I had a 3 hour phone gab session with [info]bondage_pixie. You were right Ali, she is a doll! :) I never talk on the phone, but that was fun.

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Saturday, July 4th, 2009
11:49 am
It is impossible to sing along to without sounding like a yodeling jackass, but I love this song, and the video.

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Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
10:55 pm - random high-contrast, fat-hiding, feel good about myself picture AKA "ghetto glamour shots"


I have my insulin pump clipped between my boobs here. It is a pretty darn convenient place for it.

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Friday, June 26th, 2009
4:50 pm - quickie update
just bought a 6 blade razor.
Take that, pubes!
Also, some more red hair dye, whorish eye shadow, smelly-good deodorant, and some Rockstar Zero Carb, which is a shocking PINK color that resembles transmission fluid and not something to drink. Tastes like Red Bull though. blech!



It is hot as fuck outside, and my plans to clean out my disgusting car were derailed by feeling like I would pass out.

I'm on vacation until July 6th, and I am being a big fat lazy butt. YAAAY!

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3:49 pm
beautifulagony.com


amazing!

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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
9:59 pm

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3:40 pm
in the completely useless things thing of the day, I snagged HolaGatita23 for my FB username.

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Sunday, June 7th, 2009
3:52 pm
Bonobos are awesome apes.
They solve conflict through expressions of sexuality.
Boys, girls, it's all good.

Word.

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Saturday, June 6th, 2009
10:18 pm

(Um, Yeah, We need to talk about your TPS reports)

7:08 pm
sunspots cast a glare in my eyes
sometimes i forget i'm alive
i feel it coming and i've gotta get out of it's way
i hear it calling and i come cuz i can't disobey
i should not listen and i shouldn't believe but i do
yes i do

she turns me on
she makes it real
i have to apologize
for the way i feel

my life it seems has taken a turn
why in the name of god would i ever want to return

peel off our skin we're gonna burn what we were to the ground
fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around
i wanna kill away the rest of what's left
and i do
yes i do

she turns me on
she makes it real
i have to apologize
for the way i feel

and nothing can stop me now
there's nothing to fear
and everything that ever was
is inside of here

woah woah woah woah woah
inside of here

now i just stare into the sun
and i see everything i've done
i think i could have been someone
but i can't stop what has begun
when everything is said and done
and there is no place left to run
i think i used to be someone
now i just stare into the sun

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